Posted in Blogfest Entries, Enterprise fan fiction, Flash Fiction Pieces, Just for Fun!, Life Writing, Love Is In Da Blog

#LoISInDaBl Day 20:”T’Pol Visits T’Mir”

Put a Little Love in Yours!
Put a Little Love in Yours!

 

For today, Bee‘s  prompt is “grandparents”. I had an essay in mind, but I live with this Vulcan woman in my head, and she had other ideas – and so, you get a vignette from T’Pol’s childhood…

Disclaimer: Although I believe T’Pol is a law unto herself, Paramount claims ownership.

Here, we have TMir, as a young woman on 1950s Earth…

“You will comport yourself appropriately at your first foremother’s home.” Mother was calm; I wondered at what age I would be able to control my responses to that degree. Or, perhaps, Mother had no emotional responses to control. It was logical to assume that the possibility existed. I wondered if it would be possible to devise an algorithm by which I might calculate the possibility. Certainly, that was a more interesting and useful pursuit than listening to her say the same things, in the same tone, in precisely the same order as she had ever other time I had come to stay with T’Mir.

I allowed my mind to sink into the puzzle as the groundcar angled up the final hills to the home of my oldest living ancestress…better that than reveal my ‘unseemly anticipation’.

“T’Pol, you are not attending to your mother’s directives with sufficient focus.” I blinked – when had we stopped?

“Yes, Father. Mother, I will do my best.” I gathered my bags and passed them to Father before disembarking.

“See that you do.”

That was all the parting I had from her. Father leaned in close to me, and something quick and alive flashed in his eyes. “May you find your time agreeable, daughter.”

Mother was already turning toward the groundcraft, and wouldn’t see. Had she planned this, to allow us this moment together? I didn’t know, but I pressed my fingers against Father’s in a filial ouz’hesta, attempting to memorize his bioeletric signature, so that I could hold it in my mind, during the time we would be apart.

And then he was turning to join Mother, and I was alone at the entrance to my first foremother’s sand garden. I opened the gate and passed within. It was too near zenith for T’Mir to be comfortable coming to greet me; she was very aged, and had grown frail.

“My T’Pol. Come, child, and let me relearn your face.”

It was pleasingly cool and dim inside; the candlelight made flickering shadows on the walls – and the shrunken woman seated before the bank of candles. My emotions became intense, and I hurried to her, eager for her touch, for her stories – for her acceptance of me, precisely as I was, always. For the learning she offered, of a people far away, a people most Vulcans found primitive, lacking the discipline of a mature culture, chaotic and dangerous.

Terrans.

I went to her, settled on my knees beside her.

“Will you allow me to touch you, T’Pol? My eyes no longer adjust well, after I’ve watched the flames.”

I had to focus on each word; here, when we were alone, we spoke only in English, the dominant language on Earth. She waited, blinking as she watched me. “Yes, T’Mir,” I said, when I was certain I understood her intent.

Her hands felt like desert breezes against my skin, and I breathed in the warmth of the touch, so different than Mother’s. “How can it be that a mother and daughter are so unlike one another?” I hadn’t meant to ask the question aloud, but there was nothing to be done, once it was said.

T’Mir’s breath released in some way I’d never heard from anyone else – was it something she had acquired, when she lived amongst the humans? “Are you thinking of the differences between me and my daughter, T’Pol – or yourself and your mother?”

“T’Les seems unlike both of us,” I replied.

“Humans have an expression: ‘Some things skip a generation’. Perhaps it is true, and there are things in my nature that I passed, through genetic inheritance, not to her, but instead, through her, to you.”

“Do you think it is so, T’Mir?” Her fingers trembled slightly; I was reminded again that she was very old, and couldn’t be expected to live much longer.

“Perhaps, child, and perhaps not. But it’s most agreeable to have you here with me, and know that you’re of like mind.”

“Tell me how I may serve you.” I wanted to do something for her; something that would, however illogically, allow me to forget her mortality, even if only for only a short time.

That strange breathing sound again. ” Simply be as you are, T’Pol. I live alone, most of the time, and I’m well capable of meeting my needs.”

“I -” I paused for a moment, attempting to choose the most precise human term to express my emotions. Terrans had a great diversity in such terms; it was something I wondered at. “I wish to serve you.”

“Ah, T’Pol. Such a serious child – do you know that children on Earth are seldom so? That play is often considered their main occupation?” Gentle fingers stroked my hair. “You will serve me best by being as you are, and doing what pleases you.”

“I will prepare tea,” I decided. But, as I went to her kitchen and tended to it, her words remained in my mind.

‘You will serve me best by being as you are, and doing what pleases you.’

As I watched the water carefully, so that no drop would be wasted, I wondered at the alien concept. Neither Mother nor Father, nor anyone but her, had ever asked me to consider what pleased me. Suddenly, with T’Mir’s statement, there seemed something amiss in that, that my life would be orchestrated without any consideration of my – my wishes.

But was that not the way of a Vulcan life?

Looking for more Love Is In Da Blog? Find it right here! 

 And the blooper fun as T’Pol entertains the humans who asked for a story- two hundred years later.

Posted in Life Writing, Second Serving Sunday

Second-Serving Sunday: Big Stretch Edition

 

A weekly peek backwards and a look ahead, in my little corner of the blogosphere

Do you like to stretch? I mean, reaallllyyyyy strrrrrrrreeeeeetttttcccchhhhhhh!?

I do. A luxurious stretch when I wake up, or if I’ve been reading or writing for a while. The pleasing stretch and pull of the weight machines. T’ai chi. Yoga. Stretching out my strokes when I swim, hugs with the kids, conversations with my Accomplice in Mischief...long, powerful notes in Jewel or Tori Amos songs, stretched and held perfectly –

And stretching out of my comfort zone, into new terrain and new realms…

Recently at shanjeniah:

A time-traveling week of contemplation and remembrance of the treasures that remain after the passing of the lives that offered them; traveling to the Globe Theatre on 29 June 1613, while revising Chameleon’s Dish; into the future, and Spock‘s past, while drafting Perchance to Dream; a time- themed SoCS post, and a visit to the Sterling Renaissance Festival, complete with an old friend. Elan Morgan abstains from Facebook likes. Mat Honan embraces them, and I attempted and failed to share this video wherein T’Pol expresses rather strong feelings about smoking, time travel, or perhaps both…

Coffee and Conversation:

WIPpet Wednesday:

SoCS (Stream of Consciousness Saturday):

ROW80 Updates:

  • A Time-Traveling Stretch: In which I travel through time in various way, and write some things, and revise others, and remember, and take lots of pictures, and meet up with an old friend.
  • An Odd Stretch: In which I do many things that weren’t on my list, and look at things from new perspectives.
A bit of an awkward stretch….

What’s Next:

My focus for August and September is on revising my time-travel fantasy novel, Chameleon’s Dish, set in the 1612-13 London area. I’m also drafting another WIP, Perchance to Dream, a Star Trek: TOS/ Enterprise fanfiction novel, and the second half of a duology. And there’s the ever-present homeschool administration – I’ll be eyeball-deep in masses of reporting and testing.

  • For Coffee and Conversation, I’ll be sharing a list of my Mental To-Do’s Not Done – you know, those things I’ve been “meaning to get to” for entirely too long… – and inviting folks to remind, nudge, or cajole me into “getting around to it”.
  • WIPpet Wednesday will host an excerpt from my Story a Day May exploration, The IDIC Romance I’ll be picking up where I left off last week, with the eighth installment of “Tigress T’Pol”. Trip and T’Pol collect themselves after a brief and unresolved entanglement, and consider breaches of protocol.
  • And for Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), I’ll be doing just what the title suggests – writing a stream-of-consciousness post on the weekly prompt.
  • ROW80 Updates: Sunday and Wednesday are my days for updating my goals progress for A Round of Words in 80 Days.
Stretching to connect….

In the Wilds of Internet-Land:

 

 

Stretching into Commitment….

Life Stuff:

  • Marriage is a huge stretch. And we’re in it for the long haul. Seventeen years and a day, and still stretching, learning, growing together, striving…and loving. Without the loving – seventeen years and a day would’ve been too long a stretch.
  • Taking a chance and putting my words “out there”, especially on difficult or sensitive topics, is a stretch. I did that twice this week: I entered a national writing contest for World Sexual Health Day, and I wrote a post on discrimination for the Redefining Disability Awareness Challenge.
  • Dealing with the convoluted dynamics within my family of origin is a stretch I’d often rather avoid, but I chose to embrace it, and breach a years’ long Neutral Zone, to honor a milestone birthday for one family member.

How about you? What kinds of stretching have you done lately?  Join in, and we’ll celebrate with you! =D

A poised and happy stretch. Photo credit: Annalise S. Burton
Posted in Blogfest Entries, CampNaNoWriMo, Challenges and Contests, Flash Fiction Pieces, Life Writing, Story a Day May Challenge, WIPpet Wednesday

WIPpet Wednesday: Disparate Bindings; Tangled Pulls

 

Are you ready to WIPpet?!
Are you ready to WIPpet?!

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move their WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date. It is hosted by the lovely K.L. Schwengel,maven of bad boys, stock dogs, and flying monkeys!

It’s July, and July is an emotionally slippery month for me. It holds birthdays, death anniversaries, and the entire lifetime of our second child. It’s bisected by a much-anticipated annual out-of-state gathering, Unschoolers Rock the Campground.

I’ll be riding the waves this month. I’m also participating in CampNaNoWriMo. I’ll finish my current WIP, The Stars are Fire, and add more words to another, Perchance to Dream.

Since both of these are ragged and extremely rough, I’m going to continue with snippets from my Story A Day May Challenge: Star Trek: Enterprise fan fiction exploring the interspecies relationship of T’Pol and Trip, in a project titled The IDIC Romance.

Disclaimer: T’Pol,  Trip, and all the rest of Star Trek are property of Paramount; no copyright infringement intended. I just want to play with them, and I’m careful!

A bit about the challenge:

Story a Day is just that- a story every day in May. To make the challenge more interesting for myself, I used all of the prompts offered, throughout the month.

The stories are sequential, with various tones, POVs, and voices, due to the particular prompts that were in play during the writing.

For those keeping track:

  • This is the final installment of Story #3, Vermilion Threads . The prompt was to write a story of about 640 words. An additional guest post was to use the words “vermilion” and “musky” (both used in previous WIPpets). “musky” (both used in previous WIPpets).

WIPpet Math:

Today is July 2, 2014.

Today’s math…

  • 14 sentences, for the last two digits of the year. Yup, that simple! =D

This snippet is the aftermath of T’Pol’s meditation on her first hours of compulsory duty aboard the human starship Enterprise in the pilot episode:Broken Bow Part 1. It follows immediately after last week’s WIPpet,Trip, Stumble, and T’Pol.

 

I opened my eyes, considering the flame, and my fingers reached again to hover over the thread. Only now did I realize that Trip – Commander Tucker – had not intended an intimate gesture, but only to shake my hand in the manner of a human greeting. Although I knew I couldn’t return it, Awakened to him as I was, I allowed a moment of remorse that I hadn’t found some way to acknowledge his welcoming ritual, especially since there had been some element of challenge in it, something that spoke to those moments when our souls had communed with the surging music.

My own fingers, the restless indicators of my own inappropriate longing for him, danced away from the token of my bondage to Vulcan, to the PADD. I traced the vermilion piping on Trip’s uniform with paired, trembling fingers, then dared to caress his image’s face. I longed to sample the texture of his human skin; to feel the interplay of his muscles as they shifted in what seemed to be an endless dance, conveying emotions I didn’t have enough data to identify or comprehend.

I drew a deep breath, staring into those intensely blue eyes- the color of Earth’s sky on a sunny day – and imagined, for an uncontrolled moment, that he was here, in this room, meeting my gaze and accepting my touch.

I was intended to marry Koss, but I was Awakened to Trip. There was no logic in deluding myself – about the realities of the situation, or my own emotional agitation. They were as real as the strange scent of my new quarters, the too-chill temperature, the too-yellow quality of the ambient lighting, the unaccustomed vibrations of the humans’ primitive Warp 5 engine, the prototype of which they were so unaccountably and unabashedly proud.

I knew what my world demanded of me, and why. There was a logic to it that was a part of me, that had been whispered into my ear, as an infant: “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few – or the one.” But now I looked at Trip’s image, and the thread Soval had given me, and I asked myself a question I knew ran counter to what it meant to be Vulcan.

Do I wish to honor my obligations to my family and my homeworld, or surrender myself to the pull of this human on my soul?”

What will T’Pol decide? What is Trip‘s reaction to T’Pol’s presence on Enterprise? Will this assignment change the course of both of their lives?

Yup, you guessed it…you’ll need to either read below, watch the series, or wait for next week, to learn more, from Trip’s point of view.

 

Story A Day commentary…

Full version of the story…

These posts are the seeds of a project that will germinate over the next months, so input is especially valuable. Already, new stories are weaving themselves into the fabric. No need to feel shy; I’m a friendly sort, and will keep my phase pistol on stun ..for the most part.

Want more WIPpets?

I’ve kinda left poor Captain Archer out of these stories, thus far, but someone made this nifty video…

 

Posted in Blogfest Entries, Challenges and Contests, Flash Fiction Pieces, Story a Day May Challenge, WIPpet Wednesday

WIPpet Wednesday: Breathless

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday –K.L. Schwengel’s weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move their WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.

For those keeping track:

  • This is the second installment of Story #3, Vermilion Threads. The prompt was to write a story of about 640 words. An additional guest prompt was to write a story that incorporated the words “vermilion” and “musky” (that one’ll be in a future WIPpet).

WIPpet Math:

Today is June 18, 2014.

Today’s math…

  • 18-6=12(subtracting the monthfrom the day).
  • 12 sentences, this time.

I’m offering up a taste of my Story A Day May Challenge: my fanfiction concept for Star Trek: Enterprise, and the interspecies relationship between T’Pol and Trip, in a project tentatively titled The IDIC Romance.

T’Pol and Trip , and all the rest of Star Trek are property of Paramount; no copyright infringement is intended.

A bit about the challenge:

Story a Day is just that- a story every day in May. To make the challenge more interesting for myself, I used all of the prompts offered, throughout the month.

The stories are sequential, but they will have diverse tones, POVs, and voices, due to the particular prompts that were in play during the writing.

I like the effect, and the way the stories stretched me out of my comfortable writing spaces, and took my stories with them. It would be best to read each story without expectations that it will match those before or after it. I will let you know when I shift to a new story, to help ease any pangs the transitions might bring.

This snippet is an extrapolation of what T’Pol might have experienced upon learning of her compulsory assignment to the human starship Enterprisein the pilot episode:Broken Bow Part 1. Her unsettled state has led her to seek balance and control through meditation – but she finds herself immersed in memories, instead…

“I am unqualified to serve upon a human vessel,” I objected logically, while trying to sufficiently suppress the tingle of emotion that roused itself at the thought. Neither apprehension nor anticipation could be allowed to surface in my demeanor.

“The High Command has determined that Vulcan interests must be insured, and that the humans must be guided to avoid the disastrous consequences their impetuous, volatile natures are otherwise likely to incur. You are a scientist, Subcommander T’Pol, with considerable experience in the areas of spaceflight, combat, and diplomacy. Your explorations of homo sapiens are no longer irrelevant; they will no doubt prove invaluable in this mission. You may lodge a complaint, if you choose; however, your assignment as Science Office, and chaperone, is compulsory. The needs of our people supercede your discomfort at the prospect of serving amongst this species, and I expect you will return with valuable insight.”

I took the three prescribed cleansing breaths taught to all Vulcan children; the first and most essential key to emotional control; they didn’t entirely provide the calm I needed to adjust to the reality of the assignment, but they allowed me to find an acceptable level of outer impassivity.

Soval waited unti I had completed the breaths, and then handed me the Starfleet datapad containing the ship’s specifications and the service records of the command crew. I scrolled through the personnel files – and my breath hissed out in a harsh, uncontrolled gasp.

“Subcommander, are you well?

Dimly, I knew Soval awaited my answer – an answer I could not give, for I was pulled back to that restaurant; the music pulsed, my gaze locked to the blue eyes of a human called Trip, Awakening me to him, binding me to the man who now stared back at me from the screen – Enterprise’s Chief Engineer, Charles Tucker III.

Ah…memories. So now we know that T’Pol knows she’s going to meet Trip again, in a professional capacity this time. How does she respond to this surprising turn of events? To Trip, when she officially meets him for the “first” time? How does Soval respond to her lapse of control? Will T’Pol’s Awakened status, and the secret of her breach of protocol, be discovered? Will she be able to maintain her control during this mission?

Yup, you guessed it…you’ll need to either read below, watch,  or wait for next week, to learn more…

Story A Day commentary…

Full, original draft version of “Vermilion Threads”…

These posts are the seeds of a project that will germinate over the next months, so input is especially valuable. No need to feel shy; I’m a friendly sort, and will keep my phase pistol on stun ..for the most part.

Want more WIPpets?

 

And let’s finish up with a little random silliness! =)

Posted in Blogfest Entries, Life Writing, Stream of Consciousness Saturday

Stream of Consciousness Saturday: Whatcha Readin’?

This post is part of Linda G.Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday meme. For the rules and this week’s prompt,click here!

The idea is simple – write a stream of consciousness piece that ties into the weekly pompt.

This week’s prompt was to use one or more of these words: read (present tense), read (past tense), red (the color, not a tense – unless the color makes you tense, but more on that later…).

Reading the Dickens out of Oliver Twist….my son Jeremiah at age 7. Yup, he’s got the reader gene!

An additional challenge was to post our writing without rereading. I edited the typos (using my spellchecker’s prompts only), then blacked out the text during the prepping process…so this is an unreviewed post, basically…

Read. Reading. I learned to read at age 4. I had a book with mirror writing, and my parents, who were busy building a house, seldom had time to read it for me. So I learned how to climb up to the mirror, and then to read those tantalizing backwards words….

Magic. Pure and simple.

Addiction.

My husband jokes that I have an addiction to words on paper. He’s laughed for years at the way bulletin boards and grocery lists and any random print an catch me.

It’s not as simple a matter now as it once was, because now I use reading glasses. And there are definitely more venue for reading than there used to be. I love my little Kindle Fire, and I keep stacks of books there….

But, lately, I’ve been reading one thing more than anything else. It’s captured the whole of my imaginiation – I even dream about it….

What is it?

Enterprise fan fiction.

Yup. Truth’s out. I’m a long-time Trekkie, and last year, I discovered Enterprise, and life changed. It’s the only incarnation of Trek with a real, long-term romance – a realistic one that hits snags and bumps, even if they are of a science fiction – “You didn’t say it. Your clone did.” “Wait a minute – I’m jealous of MYSELF?!” – and interspecies type.

Delicious.

There are also no red shirts on Enterprise (Good thing, because, as the Chief Engineer, Trip Tucker would have been wearing red and maybe not have lasted to the finale – in Trek terms, wearing a red shirt is a near-certain scream of expendability…..). I’m wondering if that red trim on his jumpsuit led the writers to the hideous, horrible, and utterly illogical “plot twist” they used in the series non-finale….

Some of what I read is amazing, and some terrible (OK, I gotta say this. There is no premise under which I can think that T’Pol’s Vulcan education was identical to a Terran high school. Just. Isn’t. And, much as I enjoyed the story where Trip and T’Pol get frisky in a Jefferies tube, on duty – really, it was a hilarious story, and I nearly spit coffee all over my computer when I read it – umm, no. T’Pol would have needed some definite outside influence to veer that far from logic and restraint in a very public venue, when she had a job to do. And, even though he’s a red-blooded human male with a definite passion for a certain little Vulcan lady, Trip wouldn’t leave his Cap’n hanging that way…

But the reading fuels my imagination, and my own Enterprise stories-in-progress. The good, the bad, the ugly, the glorious, the spot-on, the almost but not quite, the tearjerkers and gigglefests….

Oh, yes.

Let me read more.

It’s only logical….

Because T’Pol. And Trip.  Oh, these two! =)

As mentioned in the introduction, I didn’t reread this writing prior to posting….so I hope it wasn’t too tangly!

I hope you enjoyed my SoCS offering for this week. Remember, anyone can play, so long as they are willing to follow a few simple rules. See you next week, for another live-streaming look into the lovely chaos inside my head! =)

Do you share my fascination with what’s going on in other people’s heads?

More SoCS posts here!

Posted in Flash Fiction Pieces, Life Writing, Story a Day May Challenge, WIPpet Wednesday

WIPpet Wednesday: Gradations of Memory

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday –K.L. Schwengel’s weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move their WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.

For those keeping track:

  • This is the first installment of Story #3, “Vermilion Threads”. The prompt was to write a story of about 640 words. An additional guest post was to write a story that incorporated the words “vermilion” and “musky” (that one’ll be in a future WIPpet).

WIPpet Math:

Today is June 11, 2014.

Today’s math…

  • 6+11=17 (adding the digits of the month and day).
  • 17 sentences, this time.

I’m offering up a taste of my Story A Day May Challenge: my fanfiction concept for Star Trek: Enterprise, and the interspecies relationship between T’Pol and Trip, in a project tentatively titled The IDIC Romance.

A bit about the challenge:

Story a Day is just that- a story every day in May. To make the challenge more interesting for myself, I used all of the prompts offered, throughout the month.

The stories are sequential, they will have various tones, POVs, and voices, due to the particular prompts that were in play during the writing.

I like the effect, and the way the stories stretched me out of my comfortable writing spaces, and took my stories with them. It would be best, maybe, to read each story without expectations that it will match those before or after it. I will let you know when I shift to a new story, to help ease any pangs the transitions might bring.

I’ll keep sharing these for a while; they seem to be rather popular, and I won’t see Henry and Tisira again until later in the summer.

This snippet is an extrapolation of what T’Pol might have experienced just before, and during the first hours of her compulsory assignment to the human starship Enterprisein the pilot episode:Broken Bow Part 1. Her unsettled state has led her to seek balance and control through meditation – but she finds herself immersed in memories, instead…

The final cleansing breath sighed from my lungs as I sank slowly to my floor cushion. My hands, reflecting my disquiet of mind, weren’t ready to fold into my lap. Instead, they drifted out to touch the two items on my meditation table – a small skein of vermilion Vulcan silkthread, and the edge of a Starfleet datapad.

The vibrations of this ship differed significantly from those of the Seleya, and I found them, as so much here, unsettling. Not nearly so unsettling, however, as I found Commander Charles Tucker the Third. If I was to work with this man, or resolve my own tangled emotions regarding him, I must have the clarity of meditation.

I centered myself, found the white void of stillness within – although it wavered alarmingly; threatening to dissipate and leave me without recourse for my inner upheaval.

A memory- conversation, three days past, filtered into the stillness, the edges indistinct, so that I might attend to the interaction and my responses, without the distracting overlay of emotion or irrelevant detail.

“You are saying that the word ‘vermilion’ refers to more than a specific gradation of color?”

“Affirmative, Ambassador. Humans often attach evocative values and symbolism to colors. In the case of vermilion, it has cultural significance in several cultures; it represents concepts as diverse as eternity and marital status.”

“You have made a considerable study of this people, T’Pol. Until now, it has seemed – ” Ambassador Soval refrained from saying ‘illogical’ perhaps wishing to convey something other than censure – “somewhat irrelevant.”

“Until now?”

“The High Command has reinstated your rank, Subcommander T’Pol. You are assigned to Enterprise for the duration of its mission, effective as soon as you have cleared the medical and debriefing processes.”

Ah…memories. What else will T’Pol remember? How will the memories affect her? Will we ever find out if there’s any significance to that vermilion thread or that datapad? Will she be able to meditate, or do the memories have her?

Yup, you guessed it…you’ll need to either read below, or wait for next week, to learn more…

Story A Day commentary…

Full version of the story…

These posts are the seeds of a project that will germinate over the next months, so input is especially valuable. No need to feel shy; I’m a friendly sort, and will keep my phase pistol on stun ..for the most part.

Want more WIPpets?

A hint of the incendiary volatility in store for these two…oh, and a cute beagle, too!

 

Posted in Blogging from A to Z 2014, Blogging from A toZ April Challenge, Coffee and Conversation, Life Writing, Story a Day May Challenge

Coffee and Conversation: Tangential Thoughts

Grab a cuppa and a comfy seat, and let’s chat a while.

It’s Monday again – time for Coffee and Conversation.

When I was six, myfamilywas driving on a highway late at night. Streaks of headlights and taillights painted the dark. For the first time, I realized that each car held people living lives as important to them as mine was to me.

I wanted to know what those lives were, and to share my own...

It’s nearly nine o’clock on the second Monday of June, local time. It’s been over a week now since I completed the two month writing marathon of the Blogging from A-Z April Challenge and Story A Day.

I’m still feeling tired, and a bit disoriented, after all that sustained effort. My blogging has been a bit erratic – I have things to say, but I’m finding it exhausting and sometimes all but impossible to write the words that will say them.

It’s making me a bit restless. I’m not especially a creature of routine, which, given the rather freeform manner of our family life, is probably just as well.

I do have a certain affinity for flow and rhythm. Running water. Poetry. Music. The gently settling darkness outside my open window, with birds and crickets and fireflies and June bugs (well, actually, I’m not especially a fan of those big screen bashing beetles….). I like the flow of seasons, and days, the sun rising out the same bedroom window, and falling, amidst deepening shadows, giving its last light to the kitchen window…

I had a plan for today’s post, and it was going to be a part of the flow of my day.

But I’m tired, and I’m heading into a time of quiet and contemplation. The thoughts, emotions, and desire to express them are there.

But the words and the will aren’t. The things I would say, right now, are still subterranean, tucked within the sleepy aquifers deep within my soul.

I need to leave the creative outpouring of the last two months, to some degree, while remembering things like laundry and dishes and homeschool reports due soon and taking time to indulge myself and my beloveds; to reconnect, perhaps paradoxically, with my surfaces and my deep places…

Less of a balancing act, and more of a blending…

I’m tired, and spent, but it’s the good fatigue that comes from having done something strenuous, and done it with attention and care.

I “officially” wrote 57 stories (in lengths from 140 character Twitter fiction to 6,000-plus word complex “short” stories), in two months. I say “officially”, because that wasn’t all of them. I wrote two stories that I loved, but which didn’t fit the arc I was weaving (yes, I’ve saved them, and I had the delight of writing them). One story was rewritten, experimentally, using several points of view, and changed with each new framing.

And, through it all, I blogged.

I’m (if you will indulge the pun) all Tuckered out. I might even T’Pol asleep. (Okay, I could be a bit loopy from all that crawling into other skins and other lives…

During May, I wasn’t even human, all the time. It’s an odd trick, to be a Trellium-D addicted Vulcan starship officer fighting her rampant and uncontrolled desires while at the same time being a settled wife and mother who’s never left her planet of origin, and only canoodled with members of her own species…

I‘ve been living life:

  • Strangely?

  • Differently?

  • In odd wisps and fragments?

  • Beneath the surface, and on it?

  • As though it’s all up for creative debate?

The question marks mean I don’t know for sure. I’ve never been anything other than a seeker, a dreamer, a dweller in depth and breadth. For the first couple of decades of my life, I resisted, and gave myself to a string of false pearls known as “have-to”.

And then, I came, through shattering personal experience, to know that not one of us is immortal; not one of us can depend on a certain span of life to hold who we are and what we choose to give ourselves to.

For now, I give myself wholly to the deep places within – the currents and veins of as-yet unworded life, and to those I love. I give myself to passion, and indulgence of this breath, and all it contains, and then to the next, and the next, and beyond…

This isn’t what I planned to write today.

But it is who I am, in this moment. It’s honest, and true, and I’m sharing it with you.

Who are you, in this moment, while you read this? My house is filled with sleeping people who are wrapped around and through my heart and my soul, but we can sip our hot beverages and have a quiet chat while we listen to the nightsong of the crickets…