Welcome to Day Sixteen of Just Jot It January, where the prompt is: “impenetrable,” used any way we wish. Today, I offer you a rare peek into my journal, where I mused on impenetrability and its opposite.
This is also a Mindful Monday post, particularly since I journal after meditating.
As I was jotting down ideas for what I want to be impenetrable in the world/in my reality, the word broke up in my head, and I heard it as “I’m Penetrable.”
And I am – or, at least, I’m far more so than I once was.
The ever-present sense of impending danger I lived with, growing up in an emotionally volatile home forced me to take survival measures – and one of them was building armor over my emotional sensitivity.
You see, every time I didn’t, my mother, father, sister, or brothers would find the open and vulnerable place, and attack it.
My childhood was emotionally bloody, and I only survived by building an imperfectly impenetrable fortress around myself and my feelings.