Posted in fantasy, Kifo Island Chroincles, Sea Changes (KIC #!), Weekly Features, WIPpet Wednesday, writing, Writing Sample

Dear Old Papi: Sea Changes (Kifo Island Chronicles Volume 1) for WIPpet Wednesday

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.We’re led by the capable fingers and nimble mind of Emily Witt.

It’s a busy week here; much coming and going; doing and being. I didn’t get around to everyone last week, and I’m sorry; I was pulled instead into the revision course I’m taking. It’s intensive, and it’s changing the way I approach this process.

So, that’s about all I have to say right now. I want to get this posted; I have other things I want to focus on tomorrow, and a coffee date with a friend later in the day.

Ready?

We’re back to Ava Garcia in Sea Changes.

Ava grew on me during the writing of her story. She was a constant revelation. Her struggle is compelling. For me, it goes beyond the issue of whether people should be allowed to choose the manner of their death. She encapsulates my personal attitudes about how children deserve to be treated. It’s an honor to share her voice with you!

The Premise:

In advocating for a dying girl seeking emancipation from controlling parents, can an overburdened young woman and a lonely young man find a future together?

Note:

This passage has been rough-edited (trust me, you don’t want to see the muddled-beyond-hope original version! My plan is to begin creating a more structured revision plan once the 24 scenes pass through my local crit group (which isn’t happening, at the moment. Post NaNo, I expect to pick up steam for the next few months).

Your input is gratefully accepted, and might go a long way toward making this a better novel!

Context:

Donovan deals with Ava’s troublesome caller.

WIPpet Math:

  • Today is January 11, 2017

  • I used the last two digits of the year, for 17 sentences.

Dear Old Papi

Ava nodded, and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to see them – even their voices were too much, after the battle she’d fought to get here.

Donovan Nash, on behalf of Ava Garcia,” Donovan said, in an authoritative voice he hadn’t used with her, not even once. “How may I help you?”

Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my daughter’s cottage?”

Dear old Papi. Yell first; calm down never.

I’m representing Miss Garcia during those times when she is incapacitated and not able to take calls.” Donovan was breathing slow and easy; her father sounded like he was panting in that way he had before he let loose.

Incapacitated?! What the hell do you mean by incapacitated? She’s only been in that godforsaken grisly hellhole for a day! What on earth have you people done to her on that backward island?!” So loud, so sharp. Had he been this loud when she lived with him? Or was it because he couldn’t get to her here?

I’m not at liberty to divulge any information beyond that Miss Garcia is sleeping.”

 

Will Ava’s father accept Donovan answer?

Will Ava give herself away?

What happens next?

Next week, we’ll learn a little more…

Want more WIPpets? Click the button below, and even add your own date-related excerpt if you’re so inclined!

Author:

I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do. Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!

3 thoughts on “Dear Old Papi: Sea Changes (Kifo Island Chronicles Volume 1) for WIPpet Wednesday

  1. Well, he sounds like a charmer! He reminds me of Clara’s awful retail customer in my Jan 4 WIPpet, though at Clara never has to deal with that guy again. I’m willing to bet there is something to Donovan’s suspicions that his aggression is partly due to not having access to his daughter there.

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