Posted in #RevofKindness, Blogfest Entries, Challenges and Contests, Just for Fun!, Life Writing, Mindful Monday, Parenting, Unschooling, Writing in Freedom

Kind Energy and Mindful Parenting: #RevofKindness and Mindful Monday

Week Three of the Kindness Challenge is all about kind energy. I went through the week contemplating the subject, wondering what to write as I watched my own energy, and kept myself open to the energy around me. I was very aware of those moments when I didn’t reach my own ideals for kindness, or my belief that we are responsible for the emotional energy we bring into a situation.

I was realistic but kind in my accountability to myself.

  • No, I didn’t do as well as I might have in every moment.

  • Yes, I am human and fallible.

  • Yes, it was an exceptionally hot and humid weekend – the first we’ve had this season.

  • Yes, I had one of the worst migraines of my life on Thursday night, to the point of incapacitation.

  • Yes, I am the mom of a preteen who is changing rapidly and sometimes turbulently.

  • Yes, sometimes events can occur that need to be dealt with, and which I find frustrating.

  • Yes, I overreacted.

  • Yes, I apologized for that, in a way that was sincere, and helped to heal the little tear in my relationship with my daughter.

  • Yes, I’ve (maybe obviously) analyzed the situation and interaction, and my role in it.

  • Yes, I’ve pinpointed where I went wrong.

  • Yes, I’ve figured out ways I could improve my reaction in similarly stressful circumstances.

  • Yes, I’ve spent some extra time with my girl, exploring the situation more calmly, sharing our viewpoints on it, and finding resolutions together.

  • No, this isn’t the way I was raised.

 

This was the least kind I was to anyone this week. Maybe it’s a bit ironic that it would be the moment that showed me how being mindful of my own energy, and moving toward greater kindness, have changed our family life, and my own.

I think it has to do with knowing that my least kind used to actually frighten my children, in a way that was uncomfortably like the way I was frightened of my own parents.

Changing that dynamic to one of kindness and partnership was the hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I’m not perfect at it. I intend to keep getting better, though, for the rest of my life.

Learning kindness with a new friend. <3
Learning kindness with a new friend. ❤

After the tempest, my daughter and I went to my local write-in, where I had some creative social time with others who understand that the voices in my head belong to real people, and she got to hang out with a friend, and get the mozzarella sticks she was craving.

Later, in the predawn hour, she invited me for a walk. We strolled slowly down our quiet country road, enjoying the cooling breeze after the heat of the previous few days, chatting, admiring the neighbor’s Memorial Day bunting and talking about the reason for the day. We listened to the male bullfrogs singing for their potential mates. We meandered back home, and went inside just before a rainstorm opened up. We snuggled and laughed together until she was tired and ready to sleep.

No, I’m not perfect at this whole thing, but I am better than I used to be. The proof is in the infrequency of emotional storms in our lives, and how quickly they clear once their immediacy passes. We move from the heat of the moment to looking for resolutions, skipping over the common parental technique of punishment – we don’t need that, here, because we talk things through, and I trust both my daughter’s intentions and her ability to do better. After all, if I’m not perfect after nearly 47 years of life, it’s not that realistic to expect her to be perfect when she hasn’t yet lived 12, is it?

Aiming for the sweet spot of kindness with this girl!

Together, with as much kindness and mindfulness as we can muster, we’re learning.

This post is a part of Silver Threading’s Mindful Monday. Find more mindfulness by clicking the link.

Author:

I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do. Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!

8 thoughts on “Kind Energy and Mindful Parenting: #RevofKindness and Mindful Monday

  1. Wow, that sounds like an exciting but also exhausting week. The great thing with being a mindful parent is that we can act in unhelpful ways, but it’s not the end of the world. We can teach our children that we all get stressed, exhausted… and act unhelpful, unkind but we can also forgive each other. I love your honesty and how you are an example for your children. By the way: I am hosting Mindful Monday over at “A Spirit of Healing” until Coleen is back: http://aspiritofhealing.com/?cat=6

    1. I didn’t know Colleen went anywhere! I disappeared into story worlds and life, and missed it!

      I’m going to try to post every week, but June brings another shift back to novel drafting, so we’ll see…

      I try to live my values. I’m no more perfect than anyone else, so I offer plenty in the way of learning opportunities.

      It is amazing how quickly the storms pass these days, though.

      1. 🙂 I know what you mean. I suspect getting older and having gained some life experience helps with that. But mainly being mindful and living in the moment as much as we can does help a lot!

  2. I love your honesty in this post! You made me smile throughout the bullet points. What an opportune time for the situation of the week to arise… you might not have seen the lesson at hand had it occurred at a time you weren’t focusing on your energy. I love how you are gentle with the expectations you have of yourself and your daughter. You have come a long way, celebrate that! Even though you want to go further, I love you enjoy the experience along the way 🙂

    1. I don’t want to give a false impression that life is perfect. I didn’t get the best start in living mindfully or kindly, and neither did my kids.

      We’ve come a long way, and there’s always room to improve.

      And, yeah, for the most part, it’s a blast! =D

      1. I know exactly what you mean. Your intention and action of living a more mindful life a big step on it’s own. There’s always room for improvement and that’s what keeps us striving to be better and do better.

Take a chance! Type something in this box, and see what happens! =D

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s