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“Or How Young”: Sea Changes (Kifo Island Chronicles Volume 1) for WIPpet Wednesday

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.We’re led by the capable fingers and nimble mind of Emily Witt. 

I made it to everyone who linked last Wednesday. I wanted to do it before the weekend, and I actually finished on Monday, but still – I made it to everyone!

This week, I’m going to aim for Sunday night, and see if I can make it.

Right now, though, let’s rejoin Donovan Nash and Ava Garcia in Sea Changes.

Donovan is one of my favorite Kifo Island characters. He had a major supporting role in both of my previously drafted Kifo stories. Now, he gets his own (well, shared with Karina, and maybe Ava, but still, he’s finally the star he was always meant to be!)

For those who’ve forgotten, or are new to this story, here’s the premise:

In advocating for a dying girl seeking emancipation from controlling parents, can an overburdened young woman and a lonely young man find a future together?

Note:

This passage is NaNo rough. My plan is to begin creating a revision plan within the next few months. That said, any input is gratefully accepted!

WIPpet Math:

  • Today is May 25, 2016
  • I‘ve got seven short paragraphs today; adding the digits of the day (2+5=7.)

Donovan and Ava are exploring a possible working relationship, and have an important conversation.

“Or How Young”

“Like I said, I’m good at hugs. I didn’t get many growing up, either. Giving them out freely helps that little sad boy inside.”

“I hope we can work together, Donovan. I like you. You don’t treat me like being a child means I don’t count.”

“That’s because it doesn’t. Have you ever read Horton Hears a Who?”

“Oh, I love that book!”

“Me too. Anyway, Horton had it right, and so did Dr. Seuss. ‘A person’s a person, no matter how small.’ Or how young. I promise you this, Ava. If we work together, I will take your wishes into consideration exactly the same way I would if you were an adult.” He settled back on his heels; she seemed to have regained her equilibrium, but he thought she enjoyed knowing he was close enough to touch, so he didn’t go back to his seat.

“That’s good – because I’m going to die before I really am one. That’s the part my parents refuse to believe. They kept telling me, ‘When you’re an adult, you can choose for yourself.’ I tried to tell them that was never going to happen, but they were always focused on the next therapy, and the next, and then a trial, and another, and some experimental program seven states away -” She cut herself off with a firm shake of the head that made her dark brown hair, which she wore in a long bob, swing. “Enough of that. Be here now, Ava.”

A little thrill of recognition went through him, and, in that moment, at those familiar words, Donovan knew.

What does Donovan know?

Is Ava truly free from her parents’ wishes?

Should she be?

What’s next?

Some of these questions may be answered – and others will certainly be posed- next week, so be sure to come back then to learn more of Donovan’s story.

To read Donovan’s scene in its entirety, just follow the links:

Want more WIPpets? You can find them, and even add your own date-related excerpt if you’re so inclined, by following the little blue froggy from WIPpet to WIPpet to WIPpet!

 

Author:

I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do. Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!

10 thoughts on ““Or How Young”: Sea Changes (Kifo Island Chronicles Volume 1) for WIPpet Wednesday

  1. I love ‘Horton Hears a Who’ though the line I usually end up repeating is, “Boil that dust speck!” Don’t ask me why.

    One minor nit, since you ask for input, I tipped over this line, “She cut herself off with a firm shake of the head that made her dark brown hair, which she wore in a long bob, swing.” It’s the long bob section stuck in there. I think a simple rephrasing would cure it.

    1. I’ve been known to frequently repeat the phrases, “Argentina is nice,” and “We’ll make it up on the microfilm,” both from an old Monkees episode.

      So I don’t judge.

      You know, I’ve tripped over that myself. Honestly, unless the bob is a wig, I don’t think Ava still has one, due to all that chemo. It’s just the way I pictured her hair from when she was healthy…so the bob can almost certainly get out of that sentence.

      Nice catch – just the type of thing I’ll want in the revision plan! =)

  2. As a parent, I can understand why hers felt they needed to do certain things. But she never had a say in it, either. I can understand why she’s done doing things their way and wants it to be on her terms now.

    1. Ava spent her early years going along, doing everything she could to be the perfect daughter she was sure her parents wanted.

      But now she’s running out of time, and her efforts to make them understand this have failed, because they can’t accept her mortality.

      Taking matters into her own hands seems the only way to have any say in her own life, to Ava.

      Hopefully, a better compromise can eventually be arrived at….

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