Posted in Just for Fun!, Marketing my Writing, Novel Excerpts, WIPpet Wednesday, Writers' Resources, Writing in Freedom, Writing Samples

Pain that Didn’t Show: Sea Changes (Kifo Island Chronicles Volume 1) for WIPpet Wednesday

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.We’re led by the capable fingers and nimble mind of Emily Witt. 

Wednesday again, already?! *blinks and stares around in bemusement*

It’s been a whirlwind of a last week to week and a half. I feel like time just kind of whizzed away…lots happening in my outer, inner, and fictional worlds, this week. It would take more space than this to go into the details, and it would slow down the getting on with things…

Toward that end, I’m going to dive right with another snippet from Donovan Nash‘s opening scene in Sea Changes.

Donovan is one of my favorite Kifo Island characters. He had a major supporting role in both of my previously drafted Kifo stories. Now, he gets his own (well, shared with Karina, and maybe Ava, but still, he’s finally the star he was always meant to be!)

For those who’ve forgotten, or are new to this story, here’s the premise:

In advocating for a dying girl seeking emancipation from controlling parents, can an overburdened young woman and a lonely young man find a future together?


This passage is NaNo rough. My plan is to begin creating a revision plan within the next few months. That said, any input is gratefully accepted!

WIPpet Math:

  • Today is April 27, 2016
  • I‘ve got thirteen sentences today; I added the digits of the month and the day (4+2=7=13).

Donovan and Ava are getting acquainted as a prelude to a possible working relationship. Here, we learn more about Ava’s reasons for coming alone to Kifo. She’s mentioned that her parents had her in treatment most of the last few years, “for her own good”. We pick up from there, adding last week’s final sentence to the beginning for context.

Pain That Didn’t Show

I’m dying. There’s no amount of chemo or radiation that’s going to change that. All it can do is take away any freedom I have, any days when I feel even a little bit good. It kept me chained to the hospital, and usually to my bed. It made my parents feel like they had some control – and I honestly think that that matters more to them than how I feel about it, or whether I die without ever really having gotten the chance to live.”

She’d started out so composed that Donovan almost envied her – he had a hard time being so collected, even at twenty-one. But, by the end of her explanation-cum-tirade, she was sniffling, and then, for the second time in as many hours, Donovan was faced with a sobbing female.

“I’m good at hugs, if you like them.” He opened his arms, but didn’t move any closer to the girl. He wanted to make it absolutely clear that this was her call, and no one else’s.

I do – and I haven’t had very many, for a very long time. Sometimes it seems as though I’ve never had enough hugs, snuggles, cuddles – all the things I heard that kids were supposed to get, but which I really didn’t.”

“Well, I think maybe now’s a good time to start making up for that. Any place that especially hurts?” Donovan had learned that in his first days here – people could have pain that didn’t show.

ls Ava right about her parents?

Can Donovan help her?

What unseen pain does Ava bear?

What’s next?

Some of these questions may be answered – and others will certainly be posed- next week, so be sure to come back then to learn more of Donovan’s story.

To read Donovan’s scene in its entirety, just follow the links:

And now, a friendly reminder:
I know some of you love my Star Trek: Enterprise fan fiction. This month, for the Blogging From A to Z April Challenge, I’m giving in to T’Pol and Trip who are demanding I give them some much-needed attention. You can read them here:

Next week, I’ll share the final three, and, if I can get to it, also a brand new page with links to all the stories! Until then, if those aren’t enough, you can visit my account, and find extended versions of each story. Yup! After years of dreaming about sharing my passion, and many years more than that of hiding it shame-facedly, my Trek stories are making their way out there in the big wide world! =)

Want more WIPpets? You can find them, and even add your own date-related excerpt if you’re so inclined, by following the little blue froggy from WIPpet to WIPpet to WIPpet!



I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do. Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!

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