Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.We’re led by the capable fingers and nimble mind of Emily Witt.
I’m running later than I like today. My daughter and I left early (for nocturnal types, anyway) this morning to meet friends at the New York State Museum. We walked a lot – in addition to the museum exploration, we also got rerouted from our usual parking place, because the bar exam was being held in the Empire State Plaza, where the museum is also located. So our lot was full, and we ended up parking several blocks away, and hiking our way up a very steep hill in a chill and misting rain.
And did I mention that I only had about three hours’ sleep?
After the museum, she left with her friends for an overnight, and I hiked back to the car. Thankfully, I had already set up the basis of my posts, so I’m pulling things together with little fuss and bother, even if I’m a bit on the distracted side.
But enough about me – we’re here for the WIPpet, right?
We’re back to Sea Changes, the third-written, but chronologically first, of my Kifo Island Chronicles series-in-progress.
In advocating for a dying girl seeking emancipation from controlling parents, can an overburdened young woman and a lonely young man find a future together?
This passage is NaNo rough. I’ll be creating a revision plan before the end of March, and to begin revisions in small sprints as I enter my drafting-intense spring. That said, any and all input is gratefully accepted!
- Today is February 24, 2016.
- Since it’s 2/24 (2+2+4=8), I thought I’d share eight paragraphs. But when I read the rest of the scene, I found I only had seven left! So, after the main event, read on…there might just be a little teaser treat at the end.
Context: Karina has just come undone, with too many emotions, obligations, and burdens. Donovan, a young man she’s just met, has offered solace in the form of gentle touch and by revealing his eyes, which are very light-sensitive due to his albinism. When she mentions that the light’s hurting him, he tells her that he felt it was important that she be able to see him…which brings us to now.
Both Safe and Vulnerable
Karina took in that small kindness – in its way, more intimate than his holding and caressing of her hands. “Thank you,” she whispered, around her sniffles. Something in his regard, and in his touch, made her feel both vulnerable and safe, in the same shivering breath. “Your eyes are beautiful,” she told him, and could not look away even though she knew it was far too forward, and even more dangerous, to keep looking into those beautiful eyes that reminded her of the winter skies over St. Petersburg, when she was only a child, and had yet to see any others.
The flush crept up his neck and into his face, and he ducked his head in a way that said he was unused to compliments on his appearance. That pinkening of his skin endeared him to her, made her want to tend to him and care for him –
The beeper she wore signaled in the jarring tones Mother had demanded, over her own protests. “You must be able to hear, whatever else you are doing, child.”: There had been no use in arguing, as there never had been. Not about the tone, or the ridiculous inaccuracies of being called a child mere months from her twenty-eighth birthday.
“I must go now,” she said. No dutiful daughter would keep a dying mother waiting so that she could stare into a man’s eyes, and let him stroke her hands.
And yet, she didn’t pull her hands away.
A gentler tone – of running water, sprinkled with tinkling notes that reminded Karina of falling leaves – and Donovan sighed. “I do, too,” he said. “Maybe -”
Karina yanked her hands away, and almost upset her stool in her haste to rise and flee. It wasn’t until she was outside the door that she looked back, to see Donovan, his pale beautiful eyes still uncovered, squinting at the door as though he was watching her.
She turned and fled back to Mother and the role of dutiful daughter, afraid of what she’d felt when he touched her, when their eyes met. It was only as she was stepping into the cottage that she realized that she’d never given the young man her name.
Will Karina and Donovan meet again?
Has Donovan’s kind openness helped?
Will Karina return to the pottery studio?
What happens next?
Well, remember I said that I had a bonus for you? Here’s the first paragraph of Scene Two, which belongs to Donovan, who’s proven himself pretty popular already:
Donovan pulled his golf cart up as close to the cottage as he was able. It was midmorning on Kifo Island, and warm already for mid-October. It had all the hallmarks of another hot, sultry, and potentially deadly summer.
Next week, we’ll see where Donovan is headed, and maybe get a clue about why…
Previous Karina WIPpets (chronologically):
Want more WIPpets? You can find them, and even add your own date-related excerpt if you’re so inclined, by following the little blue froggy from WIPpet to WIPpet to WIPpet!