Posted in #8Sunday, Blogfest Entries, Life Writing, Marketing my Writing, Parenting, Unschooling, Writing in Freedom, Writing Samples

A Smaller Echo: Something New for #WeWriWa #8Sunday

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors’ Eight Sentence Sunday!

It’s the weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! We’ve got a variety of genres and talented writers just waiting for you to come sample their wordy wares. Come read one, or all, or pick a few like stocking stuffers or Christmas cookies….

And, if you’re inclined to share your own 8-10 sentence snippet, follow the link and sign up. It’s a great community to be a part of! =D

This week, I offer you eight sentences of something brand-new. “A Splash of Red”, is a surreal fantasy story, the child of my own life and my dreams, with a generous dollop of imagery and a big dash of creative license…

More on the story after the snippet.

A Smaller Echo

The hawk wheels in the hopeful sky, vivid with sharp menace, feathers brighter than the changing leaves.

The little girl circles me in a smaller echo of the great bird’s motion, its shadow covering her as it spirals, down and down and down again –

“I can protect myself!” She spits her words into the frost-silvered air, and her words cut deeper than the gust of wind that rattles the dry leaves. Her chin and eyes are fierce, even though she shivers in her thin red dress.

“You fell out of a tree,” I say, but my voice shivers, too.

Above us, the hawk shrieks, and, in it, I hear my father’s voice – our father’s voice. My turn to shudder, huddle into my thick Irish cloak, as though it’s armor enough, as though there can ever be armor enough…

Armor enough for what?

Who are these people, and what is the danger here?

Why is the little girl only wearing a thin red dress?

How did she fall out of a tree?

Come on back next week to find out more!

Did you like what you read? “A Splash of Red” was originally published in the 2014 inaugural edition of World Unknown Review, which is edited by L.S. Engler. Since I retain all rights beyond first publication, I intend to revise the story and use it as my own initial self-publishing experiment.

That being said, I’d love any and all input and criticism you’re inclined to offer! And, incidentally, my story “Monday Morning Coffee” appears in World Unknown Review, Volume  II, available now by clicking the link! =)

Want more #8Sunday?

A happier little girl in a red dress, a few years back. The dress was once mine.

Author:

I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do. Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!

14 thoughts on “A Smaller Echo: Something New for #WeWriWa #8Sunday

  1. I like the way the snippet opens a bit prosaically, with the bird and then the reader quickly realizes there’s nothing normal about this scene! Very effective imagery and I can’t wait to know more. Dreams can be good source material for sure!

    1. Thank you…vivid dreams, and being an upstate New York country girl with something of a raptor fetish and a volatile family of origin turns out to be a pretty good recipe for imagery…

      And hopefully a story that keeps people coming back for more!

    1. I don’t intend to rush through it. There are a lot of steps, and I want to learn from each of them as I go, so it might easily take me all year. But I want to begin strong, and I know that the next thing will be a little easier, because I’ll have the experience and the information and insight that comes with it.

      I will be posting about the process from time to time, so you can find out where I am in the process…

      And that’ll help me be accountable to moving forward on it, too! =)

        1. Happy to have the help! And to offer whatever others might be able to glean from the process, as well.

          I’ve taken another baby step, and submitted this to my brand-new crit group (there’s just four of us, and the idea is that we’ll be submitting weekly).

          After that, it’ll simmer for a couple of weeks, or possibly the rest of the month, dependent upon other projects, and then I’ll start the revision process.

          I’ll be posting that along with my other goals and progress at ROW80, so you can keep up there! =)

    1. Thanks, Ed. My dreams are a wilderness of imagery. It took a few revisions to capture it here, and I still see places I didn’t quite get there….which is what the next revision will be about.

  2. These lines paint a very intriguing picture. Are these the opening lines?

    The image of a girl in a red dress reminds me of the famous scene from Schindler’s List, featuring a little girl in a red dress standing out among the rest of the black and white landscape.

    1. They are the opening lines. It may just be that I have a lifelong fascination with raptors…

      I’m a little embarrassed to say that I haven’t yet seen Schindler’s List. It’s on my to-watch list for 2016,though, so I’ll look for that scene.

      There’s a reason my little girl wears a red dress….but that’s for later.

    1. Thanks. I tend to dream in rich imagery, and to want to take the uglier parts of my personal history and find beauty in them – even if it’s sharp-edged and hawklike beauty…

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