Posted in Blogfest Entries, Life Writing, Parenting, Stream of Consciousness Saturday, Writing in Freedom

Sorting Through the Pieces for SoCS

This post is part of Linda G.Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday meme -an unedited stream of consciousness piece that ties into the weekly prompt: “ing” to end the first word; bonus if it also ends the last.

Pondering, mulling, sorting through the pieces –

Shards and bits and things long past identifying

The wreckage of the life that was.

I’m not sure where that bit of poetry came from, exactly – but it feels like it has something to do with the incidents of the last couple of weeks.

If you make assumptions about someone else – an individual, a family, a color, religion, creed, sexual orientation, disability, or whatever – based on your own perceptions of reality, and your own life, you very well be negating the value of theirs.

None of us can truly know what goes on in each moment, each breath, each heartbeat, each thought and feeling of another’s life. Sure, we can make assumptions. We can choose to believe, if we will, that the way we do things is the only way to do them. We can choose to believe what we want about how others live, and to see one moment in time as the whole of their reality.

We can choose these things, but we deny those we’ve made the assumptions about, and ourselves, when we do. Life and evolution are about diversity. Variety is necessary for a balanced society.

More than that. Things are seldom as they appear from the outside. We can’t see the air we breathe, or our own hearts pumping. Yet these things are the basis for our continued existence. Without them, or some substitute for them, we die.

We cease to exist.

Moments in other people’s lives are like air and heartbeats. They can be seen, to an extent, but there is always far more to the story than shows from the outside. Quite often, things are not as they appear to us, because we always bring ourselves to each and every thing we experience. It can’t be otherwise; we are, each of us, who we are.

But when we don’t realize that, when we look with our prejudices, our past history with the other, our own agendas and ideas of how things are and how they must be, we don’t see things objectively. We see what we expect or want to see – we see that which supports our own view of things, and our minds and eyes and ears skip right over and past any and all evidence or possibility of evidence to the contrary.

We cast ourselves as judge and jury in another’s life, and we don’t permit into evidence things that don’t support our own case. We exclude the possibility that we may be wrong, or not as right as we think we are, or that it might not be so much a matter of right or wrong, black or white, this or that, either/or, but instead a matter of priority and perspective. We stay on the surface, passing judgment there, and never take the time to explore the full scope – the depth and breadth of things that make up an actual reality.

What’s perhaps saddest in this type of judging is that we know, within ourselves, that we are more than we seem on the outside. If someone – even those we’re passing judgment on, or maybe especially them -came into our own homes and our own lives, and judged us in the same way, we would likely howl at the unfairness of it all, at the presumptions and mis-assumptions that are being made, at our inability to explain or defend ourselves from the damning…


All is well with us, here.  But my eyes have been opened in a deeper way, and that seems to have come out in this post.  In the interest of full disclosure, there were two more paragraphs in my original writing, but I decided they were too angsty and personal for this post, as they might have an adverse effect in a sensitive situation…I think peace is sometimes best served by leaving some things unsaid, at least in a forum where they can’t be taken back again.

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I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do. Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!

7 thoughts on “Sorting Through the Pieces for SoCS

  1. Indeed, it’s at least partially because I am so often judged by the way I look that I tend to keep an open mind about others. I think as long as we can at least wait a while to pass judgement, (because let’s face it, it’s very hard not to judge) we might not judge so harshly.

    1. I’m so sorry you’re judged that way, Linda. It’s not fair.

      I try to wait long enough to know someone, and I also try to take into account that my judgment can have a lot to do with my own perspective – as is probably true for all of us, there are things others do that I find objectionable, but which is perfectly acceptable from a legal or societal standpoint.

      I think time does help, as does having an open mind – like your experience with dining out with your son who tastes rather than eats…a careful observer would notice your loving interactions, and that he’s cared for, and assume that they couldn’t know the whole story…

      It’s that way with this situation. A little time, and a little perception, would have gone a long way to alleviate the situation.

      That didn’t happen, and it complicated life. Fortunately, the tangles are working out, now, and we’re a lot wiser.

      This was a perfect prompt to let me vent a little, and process, and I’m very grateful that you posted it.

        1. I’m not thrilled it happened, but I honestly can’t say I’m exactly sorry, either…because, as a result of these events, I’ve done nearly everything on my fall to-do list, and quite a bit of what was on the winter list, as well. So I’ll be heading into NaNoWriMo with a cleaner home than I’ve ever had before, and a family willing to support and assist me in not only keeping things this way, but in moving forward with other improvements, too.

          What really has taken a back seat through all this is writing, blogging, and visiting others. I’m making an effort to work those things into the very busy end of the month without inducing too much stress…

          And yes, things are being worked through, on several levels and in multiple directions…

    1. Obviously, I’m just getting to these messages. Life is calmer in the surprise official visits to our home department, but there are all kinds of other things popping up as if out of nowhere. That last-minute birthday party is now going to be followed by a sleepover, so I’ll be heading out an extra time on Sunday, before my regular write-in, to collect my girl from her friend’s house…and her friend doesn’t live around the corner, but 45 minutes away.

      Still, it’s all a part of living, and hugs are always gratefully accepted and reciprocated. (((((Bee)))))

      1. Thanks I always appreciate a good old hug especially after a hard day job day. Hope your girl enjoys the sleep over 🙂

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