Posted in A Round of Words in 80 Days, Challenges and Contests, Round Four 2015, ROW80 2015

Waiting and Wondering With A Grateful Spirit: October 7, 2015

Have you ever been kept waiting and wondering?

That was yesterday, for the Burton family. Thing is, we still don’t know, and there isn’t much we can do about that except keep on waiting.

We were put in this position by a family member…and that reminds me why I’ve chosen to limit contact with this person.

The short story is that we welcomed said person into our home, and, four days later, they called the Department of Social Services (I know it was this party because of the specific allegations made, and because no one else has been here).

The thing is that honest concerns could have been dispelled, if the party were truly concerned for the children’s welfare (past patterns of behavior, and a four day delay in calling, suggest other motivations). In a healthy dynamic, this person would have told us they were worried, and listened with an open mind while we discussed the areas of concern, since every allegation was either false, based on a misconception, or was something we’re already addressing or were planning to.

The case worker never arrived for yesterday’s appointment. We spent over three hours of my Accomplice’s day off with most of our activities suspended. We still haven’t had a call to explain, reschedule, dismiss the case, whatever.

So we wait, and wonder…

I’m thankful for this reminder that, though I would rather have a civil relationship, there are valid reasons I’m estranged from this person. And, since we spent several days in intensive hometending and maintenance, many of the projects I’d slated for this fall are now complete, or well on their way to being so, leaving us with a sense of well-being, and the freedom to go further. =)

Enough about that…the kids, who are far from endangered, are happily Skyping and Minecrafting with friends, and I have an update to complete.

Below are my October goals, and current progress toward them. Most of them will look pretty familiar, as they’re carried over or next steps from Round Three goals.

Color-coding key:

  • Goal attained = blue with overstrike.

  • Goal in progress = green.

  • Goal-in-waiting = red.

Writing:

  • Write one poem daily for the OctPoWriMo Challenge. Each poem will fit the theme “Gratitude”. 4/31 poems written – A little behind, due to the CPS issue…hoping to be caught up by end of day tomorrow.

Plotting:

  • The IDIC Romance: Complete 2/3 paragraphs for the remaining letters (Q-Z); do an 11:11 Stream of Consciousness sprint for each; these will be the basis for new stories and A-Z posts. Choose one paragraph for each to develop into the post; make episode list for rewatching. Hey, #itswritingresearch! 1/31 stories chosen.

Editing:

  • The IDIC Romance: Slow Jazz Awakening”: Using compiled notes, complete rough revision plan for 16 scenes. Rewrite and offer as a beta read. Scene 3 in progress from Round Three.

Blogging/Social Media:

  • Publish all regular features posts; scheduling ahead if possible: Sunday posts done; no Mindful Monday this week.

  • Catch up all blog comments and visits. Attended to some.

  • ROW80: Keep visits and updates current. Complete and submit Round 4 Sponsor Post. Another thing delayed due to circumstance. Will get caught up before I sleep; sponsor post needs links and polishing, then can be submitted.

  • Empty email inbox and maintain below 333 messages. Some messages weeded; at about 1100.

Hometending:

  • Homeschool Administration: Complete all pending paperwork.Draft IHIPs and attend to district’s Peer Review issue.
  • Continue decluttering/beautification projects; in home and/or yard, five days weekly. Continue making improvements to our home and our quality of life. Lots and lots! Weeding, Lise’s room, living room, ceiling repairs…and more. Much more. 3/5 days this week.

Lifetending:

  • Continue planning/ attending outings and events as desired. It’s been a more cocooning spell, here, with most outings still pending. Doctor’s appointments made, and plans underway for Halloween.

  • NNWM local group: Attend write-ins regularly, and check in on the Facebook and Twitter groups as inspired. Read and critique both projects I’ve been hanging onto. Write-in and Facebooking.
  • Complete the two beta reads I’ve had waaay too long.

  • My beloveds: One on one time with each, doing something of value to us both, several times each week. Yup!
  • Read 3 fellow author books; complete 7 reviews.

Selftending

  • Write in Abundance,Intentions, and #onegoodcup journals seven times each week. Meditate seven times weekly, including one eating meditation. Explore one new meditative practice. Journaling/meditation goals: 3/7.

  • T’ai chi practice: at home five times; class twice. Continue reading The Tai Chi Directory, and adding movements to my at-home practice.

  • Make time for physical activity six days a week; use phone app to track three time a week. 3/6 days; 2/3 with phone app.

Leaps of Faith:

  • Blog/Website: Spent some time bouncing ideas around with my Accomplice.

These goals are a part of Kait Nolan’s  ROW80 Writing Challenge – It’s also a blog hop – Find more ROWers right here!

 

 

Author:

I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do. Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!

9 thoughts on “Waiting and Wondering With A Grateful Spirit: October 7, 2015

  1. Oh crap. I’m so sorry you’re being put through this. It seems to be a (sadly) common thing for homeschoolers/unschoolers, often foisted upon families by “friends” or “family members” who don’t understand the alternative lifestyle…and don’t have the respect to simply ask. Much love to you. I hope it is simply dismissed without any further hassle.

    1. I think it’s a minor hiccup in life. This caseworker visited a few years ago, and remembered us. That helped, and also that she was friendly, receptive, and had a great sense of humor. She didn’t ‘poodle-talk’ the kids, and was OK with them going on about their business most of the visit.

      In our case, we’ve always homeschooled, and we’ve been unschooling radically since they were 7 and 4. Since they’re now 14 and 11, that’s long enough for us to be absolutely sure this is the right path for our family…

      My family of origin was abusive and volatile. Conflict resolution was not part of our lives, and that’s a huge part of the reason I don’t interact with many relatives on a regular basis.

      In this case, the caller’s children are beloved playmates of my own, and the kids wanted to play. I wanted to be polite, and so invited their parent in.

      I suspect this call had more to do with something happening in the individual’s life than it did with ours. In either case, there was ample opportunity to discuss it in an adult manner, so the subterfuge seems more like bullying than concern. Sadly, that would fit this person’s nature, at least when interacting with me.

      At this point, we’ve got no idea what’s happening or not happening, but we’ve used the report as incentive to tend to a lot of things that were on our to-do lists, so things are looking very tidy and cozy here, and most of my autumn to-do list is now underway!

      And we’re happily living life in our way – which feels a lot more natural than it does alternative. =)

    1. My family is filled with people who never learned conflict resolution skills, and that makes life – interesting, where they’re concerned.

      Over the last years, we’ve distanced ourselves, but this particular family member has children who are treasured playmates of mine, and so, over time, we’ve allowed this person into our home. It had been a few months, though…and we’ve all come to the conclusion that, while the children are still welcome, their parent is not.

      It’s not so much that the call was made (although the report contained some false and misleading statements, and also things that were not as they seemed). It’s that in the four days before it, including the time this person was making small talk with my Accomplice and I, there was no attempt to express concern, and no comment on what they planned to do. So we had no opportunity to explain anything, which, if the goal really was concern (which seems less than likely, in all honesty), would have been alleviated most if not all of it.

      1. I never understand why some ppl feel the need to muddle with other ppl’s life. It’s Nome of their business. And yes if really concerned they should have spoken to you first. It must be distressing for your children too 😦

    2. I forgot to mention that the interview went well, and the case worker was not unduly concerned. All will be well, and we’ll not be inviting this family member into our home again.

  2. Sorry you’re being put through that. Hoping everything gets worked out quickly and with little fuss.
    Good job making progress despite everything else.

    1. The case worker had a concern or two – and potential offers of assistance to take care of those issues, which would speed up our ability to get them resolved. Overall, though, she found the report to be exaggerated where it wasn’t false.

      This is the third time one of two family members has done this, so it’s not the shock it was the first time. There are also patterns in the way it’s done, and the timing.

      I prefer to think of it as a catalyst…to step up our game on the hometending and maintenance fronts – something that was already in my goals -, and also as a reminder of why I cut ties with this person to begin with…the history of behavior I can best describe as bullying.

      Life will be tidier and more peaceful – the kids are old enough now that they’ve really been pitching in, and this incident has reinforced something I’ve been talking about with them for quite some time now – that clutter can build up, and taking a few minutes here and there can really make a difference for all of us.

      This morning I went to bed at 4:30am, and Annalise was up till about 9. She swept, did dishes, and cleaned her guinea pig’s cage before she went to bed. =)

      And, in another year or two, we’ll live on the other side of the country – far from the relatives who choose to manipulate rather than relate. For the time we’re here, everyone in the family is agreed that this individual is no longer welcome here. I’ll be writing a letter to that effect – giving myself the time to be able to do it peacefully, without fueling the conflict I suspect was the goal in the initial action.

      And we already have a much more appealing living environment, with more progress being made every day. I think I’m going to hit this year’s NaNo in the best shape, homewise, I ever have (and the novel is already plotted, so that’s a rather huge win, for me!).

      Squeezing in some time for writing-related stuff has helped to keep me calmer and more centered through all of this. I’m still behind where I would like to be in that regard, but I’m getting caught up, and this will be a momentary blip.

      Ultimately, I believe this incident has more to do with this person’s own life than with us. We’re just a convenient target for angst.

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