What happens when I become mindful of my personal energy, with all its natural ebbs and surges?
Last night, there was a full moon with a full lunar eclipse. I couldn’t write my ideas fast enough, and I’m still overflowing with bits of plot, segments of scenes, nascent plans for our home, and tantalizing snippets of dialogue. It’s also my Accomplice’s weekend, so there’s been a great deal of connection and conversation today. Several days of being up until well into the morning, sleeping just a few hours, and diving into the next day has led to a state of fatigue that suggests I’ll be asleep a lot earlier tonight….
As for everything else, even this blogpost, I’m more than a bit distracted. I’ll manage to get this post up by midnight, if I’m lucky…
I’m OK with that, because it’s my nature.
For the last few years, I’ve been aware that I have definite ebbs and surges of creative and physical energy. There are times when I need to be nesting, and most of my energy is spent in organizing, hoemtending, and yardtending. At other times, I need input, and I learn rampantly, taking in all the information I can hold.
Then there are the times when I’m so full of inspirations that the words and ideas flow out of me almost faster than I can breathe. These are the times when I know, beyond all doubt, that I will die before I can bring forth even a fraction of them.
Like a river flowing through its seasons, depleted in the summer, frozen in the winter, and swollen in the spring, my energy – creative and otherwise – has a flow and rhythm of its own, and it’s better if it isn’t dammed up or channeled.
I used to live a life dictated by outside schedules. During my off hours, I expected myself to make good use of those hours, and, when I wasn’t as productive as I’d hoped to be, I was very critical of myself. It choked off my creative impulses, and I stultified.
Over the last several months, I’ve realized that I’m at my most creative when the moon is new, and when it’s full. I tend to be up all night, writing, dreaming, scheming. Trying to go to bed early, or before morning, won’t work – my mind won’t turn off. It’s no use – the ideas are there, and I have to let them out. Have to. I pour out words, am inundated in plot tribbles, hatch grand plans for house and yard and family and life.
And then, a few days later, the surge ebbs, and I find myself more drawn to hometending, yardtending, adminstration – the more mundane maintenance parts of life. It’s not that I don’t write or create, but that the flow is mellower and more containable. It fits more comfortably into the fabric of my life, rather than carrying me along like a flash flood.
Why is this is valuable information to have about myself?
It helps me to arrange my goals mindfully, allowing the time and space for my own natural rhythms to be as they are. I can assess my to-do lists and goals, and, each day, and focus on those projects that best suit my energies for that day.
When I work with my natural flow, life is a smoother, happier, more pleasant affair. When I try to force myself into projects that don’t suit my energies, it’s a struggle to make headway against a powerful current. I need more energy to accomplish anything, and, often, the results are less than admirable. Sometimes that’s unavoidable, but, when I’m able to choose a more suitable time and space to address things, it helps tremendously to go with my natural flow.