Posted in Life Writing, Mindful Monday, Parenting

Presence in a Time of Paradox: Mindful Monday

Are there times and seasons in your life that are like emotional rapids? Where joy and sorrow are like the confluence of two mighty rivers, their flows merging with great power to buoy or sink you?

For me, that’s July. It begins with my daughter’s birthday, then our second son’s. Twelve days later, the anniversary of his death is followed, in another four, by my own.

The birthdays of my late fiance, and my husband’s late brother also fall in July.

It’s a lot to feel. The month that was my favorite, when I was a child, became, in the first years after Elijah’s death, followed by Annalise’s birth, an emotional tsunami that tossed me around like a piece of driftwood. I ricocheted off rocks, had nose and mouth filled with feelings… I couldn’t wholly accept the reality of the experience, the heights of celebration blending with the troughs of grief – or all the places between, where the waters were deceptively calm.

Learning to be present with the fact of these emotions has helped incredibly. I’ve stopped fighting to stay in the happier places, and, instead, these days, I ride the waves, whatever they hold. I know not every moment is going to be a sweet one – like sunshine and the shadows it casts, the loss is pointed up by what exists joyfully…

I don’t know that I have any great advice for anyone else, only something that works for me. I try to be gentler and easier on myself in July, while I live the month and feel all the things – those I can name, and those that are deeper than language could convey. I tend to go more with my instincts and intuition, willing to suspend the normal framework and flow I live within.

This is going to be a short post. I want to mindfully be with my family, with my thoughts, with my emotions….

Until next week, then.

More Mindful Monday at Silver Threading.


I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do. Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!

4 thoughts on “Presence in a Time of Paradox: Mindful Monday

    1. Thank you so much. And the same back to you. So far, I’m handling it. Mindful Monday got skipped this week, because I was off being mindful. I’m working on my post now, though, so hope to have it up before midnight!

    1. I took a whole series that day – she was about 3 months old, and it was my baby bunting…somewhere, I have the picture of me in it at about the same age…we looked a LOT alike. I will relay your birthday wishes, and she’s up for a video chat, now, if G is. There’s been so many ideas bandied about for tomorrow that I’m just planning to get in the car and have her tell me where to go! =)

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