NOTE: I was away, visiting faraway friends and family, when this post was intended to be scheduled. I was unable to post it, and the two following it. This is the third of my four“Missing Four” Love Is In Da Blog posts, as written, and resuming my typical posting schedule. As always, I hope you enjoy!
Today at Love Is In Da Blog, Bee prompts us to write about “lost friends”.
I’ve lived long enough, now, to have lost some friends. There’ve been deaths, arguments, and separations that became permanent, for various reasons. Hard as it is to accept, not all friendships are destined to last a lifetime; some exist only within a specific framework of time, geography, or circumstance, and aren’t able to survive a fracturing in that framework.
I understand that, and though I might think fondly or even a little sadly about those lost connections, they don’t bother me much. They had their time; they lived and breathed; and then they ended. They lived their lives and outlived their usefulness. They’re gone, and I’m at peace with that. If I meet that former friend again, it’s usually pleasant – and in the moment. The friendship doesn’t rejuvenate.
And then, there are those few deep friendships I’ve lost, over the years. The ones time, geography, or circumstance swallowed whole. The few who changed the course of my life, probably without even knowing it. People I’d love to see again – to tell them, to laugh and cry with them, to bask in their presence…
To be friends again, and transcend the things that have divided us.
I had the chance to do that, last summer. I reconnected, online, with the former boss and friend who found the advertisement for a job at the Grand Canyon, and shared it with me. That job changed my life, not the least because I met my Accomplice there. She was also the one who told me, while I was embroiled in a toxic relationship, that real love was easy – not easy as in effortless, but easy as in worth the effort and natural. At the time, I didn’t want to believe it – I wanted the person I was with to feel about me the way I told myself I felt about him.
But the words stayed with me – and, nearly eighteen years after I met my Accomplice, I know what she meant – and she was right. Our life together has included some decidedly difficult times – but there’s been an overall easiness that was lacking in any of the few months the previous relationship lasted.
I wrote about another lost friend a few months ago. Her name, before she married, was Barbara Leonard. She “rescued” me, more than once, in physical ways – a place to stay, nourishing food, wisdom, conversation, comfort, companionship, mutual trust, transportation, and warmth at a time when I was lost and deeply needed that.
She changed my life, and she doesn’t know – and I want her to. I want her to, because, when someone has played that powerful a role in someone else’s life, they should know. I want to thank her, and show her the good she wrought in my life.
I want to be friends again.
How about you? Do you have lost friends with whom you’d love to reconnect? Drop a comment, and share your memories with us! And, if you know Barbara, will you pass along my love and deep gratitude? =)
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