Posted in Blogfest Entries, Just for Fun!, Life Writing, Love Is In Da Blog

#LoISInDaBl Day 26: Long Lost Friends

Put a Little Love in Yours!
Put a Little Love in Yours!

NOTE:  I was away, visiting faraway friends and family, when this post was intended to be scheduled. I was unable to post it, and the two following it.  This is the third of my four“Missing Four” Love Is In Da Blog posts, as written, and resuming my typical posting schedule. As always,  I hope you enjoy!

Today at Love Is In Da Blog, Bee prompts us to write aboutlost friends.

I’ve lived long enough, now, to have lost some friends. There’ve been deaths, arguments, and separations that became permanent, for various reasons. Hard as it is to accept, not all friendships are destined to last a lifetime; some exist only within a specific framework of time, geography, or circumstance, and aren’t able to survive a fracturing in that framework.

I understand that, and though I might think fondly or even a little sadly about those lost connections, they don’t bother me much. They had their time; they lived and breathed; and then they ended. They lived their lives and outlived their usefulness. They’re gone, and I’m at peace with that. If I meet that former friend again, it’s usually pleasant – and in the moment. The friendship doesn’t rejuvenate.

And then, there are those few deep friendships I’ve lost, over the years. The ones time, geography, or circumstance swallowed whole. The few who changed the course of my life, probably without even knowing it. People I’d love to see again – to tell them, to laugh and cry with them, to bask in their presence…

To be friends again, and transcend the things that have divided us.

I had the chance to do that, last summer. I reconnected, online, with the former boss and friend who found the advertisement for a job at the Grand Canyon, and shared it with me. That job changed my life, not the least because I met my Accomplice there. She was also the one who told me, while I was embroiled in a toxic relationship, that real love was easy – not easy as in effortless, but easy as in worth the effort and natural. At the time, I didn’t want to believe it – I wanted the person I was with to feel about me the way I told myself I felt about him.

But the words stayed with me – and, nearly eighteen years after I met my Accomplice, I know what she meant – and she was right. Our life together has included some decidedly difficult times – but there’s been an overall easiness that was lacking in any of the few months the previous relationship lasted.

I wrote about another lost friend a few months ago. Her name, before she married, was Barbara Leonard. She “rescued” me, more than once, in physical ways – a place to stay, nourishing food, wisdom, conversation, comfort, companionship, mutual trust, transportation, and warmth at a time when I was lost and deeply needed that.

She changed my life, and she doesn’t know – and I want her to. I want her to, because, when someone has played that powerful a role in someone else’s life, they should know. I want to thank her, and show her the good she wrought in my life.

I want to be friends again.

How about you? Do you have lost friends with whom you’d love to reconnect? Drop a comment, and share your memories with us! And, if you know Barbara, will you pass along my love and deep gratitude? =)


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I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do. Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!

6 thoughts on “#LoISInDaBl Day 26: Long Lost Friends

  1. You have really captured the essence of friendship here, Shan. Some last, some don’t. All are treasures. And yes, some old friends we wish we could see and talk to again. Hope you find her!!

  2. I’d love to find Nick Smith, who was a former colleague of mine. He got married and I moved, but we used to have the best lunch conversations. I really liked him, but his name is Nick Smith, so I’ve had no luck finding him.
    Also, Jane Rhodes. She was a fellow teacher, and I adored her. FOr awhile we were very close. But I heard she married and I don’t know her new name.
    I’ve been fortunate to find a few old friends through Facebook. And glad to have done so 🙂

    1. May we have the chance to reconnect with our Nick Smiths,Jane Rhodess, and Barbara Leonards!

      Like you, I’ve been blessed to have gotten back in touch with a few former dear friends, but Barbara….she’s my holy grail, I suppose!

  3. I do have a lost friend, from my high school years. However, the fact that I’ve been unable to track him down, in our hyperconnected age, kind of reassures me that he must be still the person he was 40 years ago, which is cool. 🙂

    1. What a lovely way to see it. In Barbara’s case, I suspect she’s out there somewhere, and connected…and I hope to reconnect one day.She truly changed the course of my life, and distinctly for the better.

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