Grab a cuppa and a comfy seat, and let’s chat a while! It’s time for Coffee and Conversation!
When I was six, my family was driving on a highway late at night. Streaks of headlights and taillights painted the dark. For the first time, I realized that each car held people living lives as important to them as mine was to me.
I don’t love the tradition of Groundhog Day, and that’s OK. It’s equally OK that others do.
And it keeps life interesting.
I do love Vulcans. OK, if you’ve poked around this blog even the tiniest bit, that’s probably no secret at all! But one of the things I love the most about them is the concept of IDIC.
Yes, I hear you asking – “What the —- is IDIC?” There is no cause for concern; it’s only logical that I tell you. It’s an anagram for “Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations“.
The Vulcan ideal includes appreciation for that which is dissimilar, and the ways in which diverse things, beings, and ideas, can be blended to make something new and uniquely beautiful. The concept can be expressed in the form of a symbol:
A video expression of IDIC in action: Trip/T’Pol spoilers for “Demons” and “Terra Prime”.
IDIC has been around a while – long enough to start affecting humans. A day or two ago, I saw another expression of IDIC:
How fitting that this would come from George Takei, who himself embodies IDIC, to me, and who was there when the concept was born. How fitting that it can be used to offer his husband – and, by extension, the rest of us – something that holds both simple beauty and deep meaning.
I’ve felt this way, for a long time. To me, it’s a “shoe on the other foot” issue. Yes, I happen to be straight – very, very hetero. If sexuality is a scale, I’m pinning the “Woman who is sexually attracted only to men” end of the meter. I’ve never been curious to experience sex with another woman, at all. Nor do I fit any of the other gradations along the scale – I’m as predictably straight as they come (you decide if the pun’s intentional!).
But I don’t see that as a moral high ground. It’s just a part of who I am, like being tall and left handed.
And I don’t want anyone to change me, or to tell me its wrong to be as I am – as my nature is.
I don’t want to change anyone else, either. Just because I am hetero and at home in my gender doesn’t make it right for anyone else. It just makes it right for me.
I’ve had the honor of having among my friends people who fall at many other points on that scale. I’ve laughed and cried with them. I’ve listened and learned and grown because my reality has them in it. I’ve been frustrated and delighted to call them my friends, and had a richer, more diverse life because they’re part of it.
I don’t want anyone to legislate my sexuality. I don’t want anyone to legislate sexuality for anyone – so long as those involved are able to give informed consent, the specifics of who any of us choose to share our sexual selves with shouldn’t be anyone’s concern but our own. I don’t believe it should have to be stressful for differently -oriented people to come out. Honestly, I don’t think they should have to – because, in a perfect world, they’re would be no more need for someone to proclaim, “I’m gay”, or “my sex doesn’t match my gender”, or “I’m asexual.”
Some people believe that it’s OK to make laws that favor heterosexual couples. I say it’s discrimination – plain and simple. People are as they are. Straight, gay, any point in between, off to the side, or just not even on the scale – we’re all ourselves. We’re all far more alike than we are different. We’re all human (no Vulcans yet, dang it!).
If they’re human rights, then they are meant for all the humans, not only a select few who meet the currently fashionable parameters. Because, really, what happens if those parameters change. What if, suddenly, same-sex couples were the accepted means of pairing, and being hetero became a minority and persecuted orientation?
Those a little closer to the middle of the scale might be OK. I wouldn’t be. I would be denied the right to my own husband of over seventeen years. Our children would maybe be treated as social pariahs, and my Accomplice and I surely would be. We’d be the ‘aberrant’ ones, simply for being as we are.
Which is too often what it’s still like to be non-hetero in American culture, right now.
When we discriminate on the basis of things like sexuality, religious belief, ethnicity, differing levels of physical or mental ability, or the color or shape of the physical wrappings people are wearing, we’re saying that it’s OK to demean others for what they are.
And if it’s OK to demean them – we have to accept that it’s OK to demean us, too…
Because there really isn’t an ‘us’ and a ‘them’. Just a collection of diverse humans, combining in myriad ways….
Like a blogpost that starts with groundhogs and ends with a Vulcan philosophy humans would do well to live by, too…