Posted in Blogfest Entries, Just Jot it January, Life Writing, Parenting, Sexuality and Erotica, Stream of Consciousness Saturday

SoCS and JusJoJan Day 24: Coitus Interrupt Us

Merrily down the stream of consciousness!

I’m thinking the name says it all, here, so be warned; this is a post about sex. If that’s not your cuppa tea, might I suggest popping over to sample one or more of these posts, instead:

Speaking of a cuppa, I think I should have another before I begin…

Okay, I’m back.

This post is doing double duty. It’s an entry in Just Jot It January, for the January 21-30 prompt. It’s also my Stream of Consciousness Saturday post for today’s theme: most/least.

One of our children, when an infant and toddler, had the nickname Coitus Interrupt Us – for the sake of sparing potential embarrassment for the person in question, I will not say which, although the party has actually granted permission for me to do so.

It was a moniker well earned – there simply did not seem to be a time when we embarked upon a lovemaking journey when this child, even if previously sound asleep (which was most often the case, young children having rather frequent and immediate need for parental attention on a near-constant basis) would suddenly be wide-awake, and usually distraught, hungry, dirty, or all of these.

We tried different parts of the house and different times – it was no good. We got really, really fast – but not fast enough. Our offspring foiled us, again and again and yet again. It was, bluntly, a heckuva dry spell for us.

I’ve always felt that one of the greatest jokes that nature plays on humanity is the way sex creates children, and children can all but eliminate sex from their parents’ lives. We had the most sex when we were hoping to create or add to our family, and by far the least in the first months and years after succeeding at those goals.

A little hand-holding in the car can go a looong way! And taking a picture means you might remember it later!

There are innumerable commercials that say, in cooing tones, “Having a baby changes everything.”

If you aren’t yet a parent, but hope to be one day, believe it. And know that it means sex, too.

Try to prepare yourself.

And know that it does get easier. Kids have this way of growing up, you see. If you can handle that long mostly-dry spell (not every child has the unerring instinct our young CIU had; our other child was far less apt to catch us ‘in the moment’, as it were), and tend to your wee one’s needs with something approaching good cheer, even when your desires have been thwarted for the nteenth time in the last week, you will – eventually – be rewarded by a child who spends more time engaged in his or her own independent pursuits, or who can sleep for more than an hour or two at a stretch. And my guess is, you’ll be pretty quick – and mightily adept – at making use of those opportunities!

I’m here, with now-older offspring, to tell you that it doesn’t have to be permanent. It may never be as spontaneous or easy as it was in those pre-baby days – but you can get back to a point where sex isnt just that thing you remember longingly from the days before you decided to use it for the purpose of procreation, but something you can do more or less regularly, now.

Really.

And, in case this has terrified you, consider this: you will appreciate those moments of closeness a whole lot more, when you know what it is not to be able to find the time to rub moments or lips together for a while.

And, in the between time, there are measures you can take that don’t disrespect your children’s needs – or yours. Once, we set up an afternoon playdate for the kids to hang with their similarly-aged cousins. We did this weeks in advance, and I went out and bought massage products. We spent the entire time the kids were gone on our bed, touching, chatting, and making love – very much the way we had at the very beginning of our relationship. Only, then, we had taken it for granted. With only those precious few hours to know that we wouldn’t be interrupted (barring emergency, that is!), we valued them far more. It’s still a treasured memory, that decadent sunny afternoon when we lolled on our bed as indolent as cats in a sunspot.

By the way, injecting a little humor into the situation can do wonders.  That nickname we gave our child was an inside joke between the two of us, back then, a way to laugh when we wanted to scream or cry. It reminded us not to take the whole thing too seriously.  And shared laughter can be pretty danged sexy, in its own right – and it can last for years and years – years during which the young purveyor of involuntary parental abstinence will grow….

If you’re a parent, have you had this experience, or is it just our child who was supernaturally talented?

Find more sexy jottings (and maybe fewer interruptions!) here!

Just Jotting sexily through January!

Author:

I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do. Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!

19 thoughts on “SoCS and JusJoJan Day 24: Coitus Interrupt Us

    1. If you’ve been there, you’ve been there. =) I don’t think it’s easy to forget!

      The child in question, now much older, said it was a ‘clever’ nickname.

      Happy you stopped by!

  1. My one story of getting interrupted by our son is pretty embarrassing. Basically, we were right in the middle of it when he walked into the bedroom (someone forgot to lock it), placed his hands on his Dad’s butt and said, “I want to ride the horsey!” If you can’t laugh in situations like that, what else is there? Kids make sex very difficult sometimes, but I wouldn’t change having them in my life for anything, even if it did mean little to no sex for a few years! 😉 Great post!

    1. BWAHAHA! I love this! At least he wasn’t traumatized by what he saw!

      Not that the two of you weren’t!

      But oh, the laughter that that moment must have inspired, through the mortification!

      Same thing for me. It was frustrating at the time, and seemed like it would last forever, but then CIU got to be about 4 or so, and things started to ease up, gradually.

      But I would have given up sex to kep our adorable little abstinence device around, and the passing years have proven that it was all so very, very worth it! =)

  2. Sigh…how true it is! Remember it isn’t just when the kids are little…when our daughters visit overnight from university even getting in a bum grab between the Hubby and I, means having to become a Bum Grabbing Ninja. 😉

    1. Bum Grabbing Ninjas! Oooh, excitement! You could plan it out for WEEKS before they get home! Build up the anticipation, keep score of who nabs the most grabs…with a sensual prize awarded to the winner when the girls are gone again! 😉

  3. Valuable information for young parents! More humor would have helped my marriage back then. When our first child was an infant, I used to wonder if he somehow knew when his father and I were trying to have sex. Wouldn’t that trait tend to increase chances of survival for the fist born? Or at least chances of staying an only child. Fortunately he outgrew it.

    1. I will confess to having had the exact same thought! Ours definitely outgrew it, but there was a time when it seemed like it was going to be forever, and our marriage was destined to be near-celibate, whether we wanted it that way or not!

      We can laugh about it with a lot more zest, these days. Both kids are the independent sort who accept that sometimes Mom and Dad lock their door for reasons they’d rather not consider.

      More humor definitely helps, even when its the grit-your-teeth kind!

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