Posted in Challenges and Contests, Flash Fiction Pieces, WIPpet Wednesday

WIPpet Wednesday: Little Miss Logical

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move their WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date. It is hosted by the lovely K.L. Schwengel, maven of bad boys, stock dogs, and flying monkeys!

This month, I’m participating in CampNaNoWriMo. I’ve exceeded my word count goal and finished drafting one WIP, The Stars are Fire. I’m past the halfway point of Perchance to Dream. Neither of these are ready for public consumption, yet, so…

I’m continuing with snippets from my Story A Day May Challenge: Star Trek: Enterprise fan fiction exploring the interspecies relationship of T’Pol and Trip, in a project titled (at last for now) The IDIC Romance.

Disclaimer: T’Pol, Trip, and all the rest of Star Trek are property of CBS/Paramount; no copyright infringement intended. I just want to play with them, and I’m careful!

Story a Day is just that- a story every day in May. To make the challenge more interesting for myself, I used all of the prompts offered throughout the month. The stories are sequential, with various tones, POVs, and voices.

For those keeping track:

This is the first installment of Story #4, “Tigress T’Pol” . The prompt was to write a story of exactly 2000 words. An additional guest prompt from Heidi Durrow invited us to explore passion in this story. If I got it right, you’ll see the passion as we go along!

WIPpet Math:

  • Today is July 16, 2014.
  • 16 sentences, for the day.

This snippet is told from Trip’s point of view and follows immediately after last week’s WIPpet, “A Taste of Sole?”. Trip and T’Pol are on Rigel 10, searching for the wounded Klingon who was abducted from Enterprise. Torn between attraction and dislike for his companion, Trip’s feeling just a bit put-upon.

This is an add-on scene for the pilot episode: “Broken Bow Part 1”. I’ve done my best to extrapolate without violating series canon.

The review starts at about 4:45.

It was enough to make me want to pull my hair out – or grab her and kiss her until she admitted that she’d felt something in that club, and when she first saw me on Enterprise, too. But the Cap’n said we were supposed to ‘extend her every courtesy’, and Little Miss Logical damned sure didn’t seem like the type who’d take being kissed half senseless as ‘couteous’. She’d probably issue a formal complaint in that damned disapproving voice of hers. Maybe the Cap’n would leave me on this grimy space station, and my big adventure would be over before it really got started.

I wanted to rub my shoulder, but I would be damned if I’d let her see that she’d hurt me when she pulled me away from that door before I could investigate the screaming, struggling shadows behind it. T’Pol looked delicate, but her grip was powerful enough that she’d moved me forcibly. Was it just wishful thinking that she kept her hand lightly on my shoulder for a second or two longer than she needed to make sure I wouldn’t bolt when she let go? Her, “keep your human nose outta other people’s business” speech was pointed, but polite – maybe there was hope for her, yet.

The Subcommander moved as though nothing here could possibly faze her through the tangle of beings and merchandise- I had no names for most of them – and the steam-belching pipes that seem to be everywhere. I’d have to really hustle to keep up with her, but I wasn’t about to let her know that, so I was left a little behind – a bumpkin in the big city for the very first time.

I tried not to notice how T’Pol looked in that long, curve-hugging jacket she’d thrown on over her curve-hugging uniform; it could be a long mission if she didn’t have something less flattering in her wardrobe. I pretended not to be staring at the way her hips swayed, or the way she carried herself – back straight but relaxed, walking lightly on the balls of her feet, head up and turning a little as she scanned to either side – she looked like a very sexy ninja, or maybe a Florida panther on the prowl – beautiful, mysterious, and more than a little bit dangerous.

Trying to ignore the obvious fact that she was every bit as desirable as she’d been a year ago only made me more aware of it, and, dammit, my body was responding in a way that was predictable and downright embarrassing. I didn’t have to guess she wouldn’t take that the way I meant it; she didn’t seem to have a clue how sensually gorgeous she was by human standards.

But maybe sensuality didn’t matter, to T’Pol – hell, the Vulcans probably even had a protocol for how to make their little pointy-eared Vulcan babies, and I’d just bet their tykes never dared to cry or fill a diaper or stick their fingers anywhere that wasn’t logical.

Is Trip getting ready to taste his boot again – or maybe T’Pol’s? Will he ever find out how Vulcans make more Vulcans? Will T’Pol ever stop acting like she’s in command, and he’s the kid she’s babysitting? And, well, will they find the Klingon, or more trouble, instead?

You guessed it – you can watch the episode, or come back next week for another WIPpet snippet!

Story A Day excerpt and commentary…

Full original version of the story…

These posts are the seeds of a project that will germinate over the next months, so input is especially valuable. Already, new stories are weaving themselves into the fabric. No need to feel shy; I’m a friendly sort, and will keep my phase pistol on stun ..for the most part.

 

Author:

I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do. Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!

15 thoughts on “WIPpet Wednesday: Little Miss Logical

  1. Aw, poor Trip. I really like the voice you’ve got going for him. And I really liked the “Little Miss Logical” line. In fact, really liked the whole first paragraph.:)

    1. Trip’s voice is so distinctive, he’s easy to write. And at this point – he’s having a hard time with Little Miss Logical, for sure! First a scary alien bug had him swatting at it, then she scolded him twice and grabbed his shoulder once. And now – now she won’t give him the time of day.

      I’m definitely having fun with this story! =)

  2. The last few lines were… well… Have to say that I think MOST babies think wherever they stick their fingers is logical… when they are doing it.

    Which reminds me of a statement that Sarek once said when his son asked why he’d married Amanda. 😉

    1. I don’t know that babies think about concepts such as logic. I believe there’s logic to their actions – a need to explore their world through their senses in a concrete way. I think they understand things logically long before they understand the nature of logic, which is a pretty abstract concept.

      This line will tie into a tiny bit of T’Pol’s life history that becomes relevant in a couple of the later stories in this series. Not giving away any spoilers, but it does have significance.

      And I love Sarek’s non-explanation. I’ve written my own version of that meeting as backstory. I may even share it someday!

    1. Trip amuses me, and he’s so endearing as he tries to figure out jut how to take this mystifying Vulcan who seems to have no idea how much she’s addled his mind…

      I *almost* feel sorry for him, too. =)

        1. In this excerpt, she doesn’t know or understand the effect she’s having on Trip – and, in the name of duty, she’s compartmentalized her own inner turmoil as regards him.

          But in the most recent clip – when Trip mutters about ‘mating protocols’ – well, Vulcan hearing is significantly more sensitive than the human variety, and I’m betting that T’Pol hears him, and files the comment away for analysis at a more opportune time.

          Vulcans, as a rule, don’t talk about their emotions, or seek emotional support from others. So I’m guessing that the human aspects of his addlement -it is SO a word; I just used it! – would be incomprehensible to her (as most of human behavior is, to her, at this point, and nearly all of Trip’s!).

          I do think she would care if she knew – not for personal reasons, but because serving with humans determined to pursue what she has openly called ‘a foolish mission’ is complicated enough. To operate alone with this already volatile and exceptionally unpredictable human, addled – well, that just can’t be good for efficiency, and T’Pol is most assuredly one efficient lady! =)

  3. I like this line: ” Little Miss Logical damned sure didn’t seem like the type who’d take being kissed half senseless as ‘couteous'” It definitely doesn’t detract from the seriousness of the emotions involved, but it does show some personality/snark coming out. And congrats on winning Camp NaNo already!

    1. Trip is the only one aboard who dares to yell at T’Pol. He gets in her face. He TOUCHES her (not saying too much more, because spoilers).

      At this point, though, he’s more than a little befuddled. And frustrated. Hot and bothered (by the fact that she seems completely unimpressed by him, and unaware of the effect she’s having on him- she isn’t even flattered or upset by it.

      That sentence would be even better, though, if I’d spelled ‘courteous’ correctly….D’OH!

      There’s a part of me that really wants to see Trip kiss T’Pol half-senseless…

    2. And thanks for the congratulations! We’re camping this weekend, and then there’s homeschooling stuff to tend to, so I figured I’d get the 50K in, and then see where I go from here at a more relaxed pace. I’d love to finish the draft, but I think I’ll need a month or two longer to do that; I’ll double with my revisions until I get there.

  4. This line: “that damned disapproving voice of hers.” Ha! Yeah, somehow, pretty much ALL Vulcans sound that way 90% of the time. (The other 10% is whenever something in the ST universe forces them to have emotions, LOL.) I’m learning to love Trip just as much in these installments as I liked T’Pol in the others.

    1. Well, I think they sound that way mostly when they don’t know the others well, or if the humans don’t know them. I’ve noticed that they use more intonations and gentleness when they’re at ease with their audience.

      And it’s not quite that things force them to have emotions – they have them (and Vulcan emotions are rather intense).

      As time goes by, T’Pol’s intonations and word choices shift, and the humans she lives with develop a better ability to read her subtler manner of expression.

      Trip is a lot of fun, a really nice, goofy guy, and pretty handy to have around. He’s fun t write, because his voice is very, very clear.

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